Our Country's Pressing Problems

          Time: 8:03pm.

        Here I am patiently waiting for typhoon Yolanda to come. It was announced that this typhoon would be really dangerous. Classes in all levels are currently cancelled because of the typhoon. It's really frightening to hear people discuss this nation's problem. Imagine the blowing of the wind would be around 80-100+ mph. That's really strong, you know. This typhoon will first hit the Eastern Visayas. People are currently buying food for storage. At least we we're warned this time. I think this typhoon would be the first super typhoon I would ever experience since most typhoons usually happen in Luzon or in other parts of the country.

          I'm not really concerned with what is happening right now 'cause it's not that bad yet. I am more concerned of the condition in Bohol. I mean, they just recently suffered an earthquake with 7.2 magnitude, then this is happening. Most of them had lost their houses because of the quake. Now what bothers me is that where do they stay? I mean, most houses there are already destroyed. Hopefully their evacuation center is still standing strong.

          In Mindanao, there is still a war ongoing. When will that end? When will we ever try to lower our pride and find peace among our fellow countrymen? Why couldn't we accept differences and learn to adapt from it? Do people really need to die in order for this to happen? Do innocent people really have to be killed during this war? Why can't we unite ourselves and make peace? For goodness sake, we are living in the same country, and yet there's a war going on between us! Are we really that blind to see the wrongness of this situation?

         What the hell is happening to the Philippines? Is this a lesson we should really focus on? A lot of people are already aware that this country right now is not doing the right things--even in the government. There are a lot of corrupt leaders lurking around the corner and yet they couldn't still be found and fired? I mean we really need to pull this shit together. Why is it taking to long for the judicial court to prove that those people really are corrupt? I heard there are more billionaires here in this country than in Malaysia. Why not put those money to good use? Why are you so selfish? To think that it is our money at made you rich in the first place. Is it so hard to spend that much money for the development of our country? If we didn't have corrupt leaders since the dawn of time, maybe we would be part of the 1st world countries! Can't you see how amazing that would be if all people here would enjoy their country even more than they could possibly imagine? I don't know when this will end, but hopefully it would be sooner than later.

           P R A Y. A valuable action. P R A Y E R. A lifetime of miracles. That's the only hope we have for our country. We can never prevent any natural disasters from happening, but with prayers, we can ask God for sparing us for whatever may come and hope that it would not be that disastrous. We can also pray that corrupt leaders' conscience would stir up eventually and turn themselves in. Pray that this country would be better. Pray for the people who are greatly affected by any calamities. Pray that the Lord will not leave us during this struggle for survival. Pray for the people in Mindanao who are currently in this war. Pray for peace and humility.

Pray for the Philippines.

I don't even. Gaah.

     Wow, naman. Ba't ganito? I thought my feelings for him were gone. :( Bakit parang may something pa rin? Yung feeling na akala mong wala ka nang feelings tapos kapag makita mo siyang may kasamang iba, napapraning at nasasaktan ka pero tinatago mo lang? :( Hirap pa naman ng state ko dito. Nasa Friend zone ako. I can't tell him that I have feelings for him kasi baka masira yung friendship namin. Ang tagal na kaya ng 10 years of being best friends tapos masisira lang sa isang pagkakamali?

     Well, actually, being in love with someone isn't a mistake. It's just that there are risks that you are going to take. And hell, I'm not a risk taker. I may risk my life to save my loved ones but not the friendship. D: Bakit kasi nilagay ako ng Diyos sa sitwasyon na ito eh. :( Ang hirap tuloy. But then, "Life is hard. If it's easy, then you're doing it wrong." ika nga nila. Last night I thought that I was over him. I already accepted the fact that there will be nothing "special" between us. Pero parang nawala lahat ng mga inakala kong totoong salita from me.

     I've been struggling to sort these feelings of being in love with him, wanting to be with him, or having him as my boyfriend or even my husband. For 4 years, I've been struggling with this sort of stuff. Four years. I really don't think he sees me as his girlfriend or wife. Gaah. I don't have the courage to say what I feel about him. Imagine him freaking out about what I said. Imagine him backing out from me, getting away from me. Now that hurts more, right? :( On the other hand, if I don't say anything, then I would still be hurt.

     "Let him be happy. If he's happy, then you'll be happy." Foine. I'll do just that. I'll try to hide my feelings for him so that hell won't break loose. Now, tell me. Am I doing the right thing? Am I being a goody-two-shoes? :( Generally, I just want him to be happy. I don't want to see him end up like a jerk. I don't. I just don't.

     What nags me the most is that what if in time, later on in the future, he will fall in love with me and I don't feel the same way again? What will happen then? =/ What if he can't say it also 'cause he's also afraid of breaking our friendship? What if he feels the same way I'm feeling right now? Hopeless. It's hard, especially when I watch those movies where best friends of different gender fall in love with each other and live happily ever after. It gives me hope, but at the same time it also breaks my heart because of the possibility that that will never happen to me. :( Damn movies. Mixing up my feelings and shit. :|

     But I still do hope we could work it out. Sigh. I'm hopeless. If only he could realize that I'm here all along. That would make things much much better. :(

     If you are reading this (which is impossible because you never visit my blog. Lol.), I just want to tell you that I love you. No matter who you are, what you are, I love you. If you don't know who I am referring to, look at the labels/tags. :)) It took me a lot of courage to put yer name there, so you better give me positive feedbacks. Jk. Stay anonymous if you like. If you don't want to be with me, it's fine. Just don't do anything stupid like break our friendship or something worse. Because you know, it will kill me. Not seeing you around, not being able to laugh at our corny and/or useless jokes breaks my heart and soul. Just don't break our friendship once you've found out about this. Just don't. :) Thanks. Iloveyousososomuch. (no spaces for lies. Ansaveeeeh?  LMFAO.) Be safe. :]

Immature

     So, I just finished reading my past posts. And whoah. I was immature. :)) I didn't know how to handle things before, but I hope I do now. Gaah. I still couldn't believe it was all my writing all of those posts. Well, some posts weren't immature, but still. Gaah. I've seen so many grammatical errors in those posts. :Grammar Nazi: I don't really hate myself for writing all of those things. Besides, I was just letting it all out here on my blog. But, gaah. Seriously. LOL. I don't know what I really feel right now. I mean, should I be ashamed? Mad? Laugh at myself? TROLOLOL. I still can't believe it. :))


     Anyway, college life is near. :O I really do hope I won't be immature as I was before. Gaah. It will be hard. I have like 29 units to finish, so I must study hard. Why did I even pick Physical Therapy as my course? Why didn't I pick an easy course? Guess that's what life is all about. There is no loopholes. One must endure it all throughout so we can become what we ought to be. Damn. I hope I will find good friends in college. My sister, even my dad, told me that college will be a competition. College will be the life where you have your friends as competitors. It won't be easy for anybody since it's all a competition.

     I promise myself not to be immature and I also promise to be studious since my course isn't easy as it sounds. I won't go clubbing. I rarely do. :)) I will be strict to myself since "I'm the only hope for this family" blah blah. Gaah. Being the youngest is hard. You get a lot of expectations from your parents and even from your other family members. Gaah. I do hope to survive. :)

     I have 5 years. 5 years of life changing experience. 5 years of struggle. And I do hope that when I graduate from school, I would easily have a job at hand. Maybe in the USA. Someday, I will have these in hand.

     I can, and I will. :)

He noticed me. :]

     My crush noticed me on Twitter. :] Well, he didn't mention me, but he did retweet my tweet which is just as awesome as being mentioned. ♥ His name is Jan Slater Young. He's the Big Winner of Pinoy Big Brother: Unlimited :]
     I never really expected him retweeting that tweet since he has a lot of followers--and I mean A LOT. He has like over 100k followers now. Gaah. I feel so lucky. :D He really made my day.
     If you don't believe me, here is the proof:

     
     (You might want to click the photo to enlarge since my theme doesn't support its original size. ^^")


     Anyway. Gaah. He is just so handsome and hot and handsome and hot and cute and handsome--did I mention HOT?! GAAH. And to think that he is also a Cebuano. :3 Couldn't be any better. I do hope I get to see him in person sometime. :)
     That's all for now. I shall sleep well tonight. :)

Awesome videos are awesome.

            So, I'm back here. Lol. I'm here to share you two of my recently discovered videos on YouTube. XD I really love these videos because it brought me back to my childhood memories. I know that I'm already 16 yrs. old, but my heart is still young--childish even. :]
           Here it is. Please enjoy it as much as I did. :]

           Thank you! :)

Just Updating.

           Hey, there! It’s been quite awhile, huh? I almost forgot about this website. Wait, no. That’s not right. What I meant to say is that I almost forgot I have this account here. Lol. It’s been what? One year? –ish? I don’t really care about the time. Time is just time until wasted, right? Lol. That’s a dumb conclusion. Anyway. My future is all that I am rooting for right now. So, without further ado, let’s start with my life after what had happened in the past.

            My life right now has never been this great. I’ve understood more of what I need and what I want in my life right now. I need to get out of high school—graduate, I mean. Not get out, literally. Lol. That’s just kind of wrong—for me. As always, I want to have the books that I really want to read right now. There are a lot of them actually. I don’t want to babble about them here. Lol. I don’t know. I’m just not comfortable about telling all of my favoured books here, right now.

Moving on, I’m thinking about taking up Physical Therapy as my course in college. It’s either I go to Silliman University in Dumaguete, or to  Riverside College-Bacolod. It’s kind of all up to my parents’ decision. But if I were to decide—no questions asked—Silliman University. I think that my mother will not allow me, though just because of their religion. Which is just, urgh, frustrating. I know my friends, Chesca and Jeanne, are studying there which is awesome. We’re not taking up the same courses, though. But that’s fine with me. One thing that I like about Silliman University, right after the career talk, is that their school is—as far as I can remember, since I’m tend to forget things—the only American university here in the Philippines. Their school is listed in almost all of the offices or wherever you are applying for a job which makes it even easier to get the job! Another one is that I love their speaker. Lol, no. Not really. I loved Silliman ever since I’ve heard of the name. Never been to Dumaguete which makes it more interesting. Interesting since I get to have the opportunity to know people with the same language as I have—bisaya or Cebuano, call it whatever you want. It’s been awhile talking straight Cebuano to people other than my family.

            Okay, enough talk. Now, let’s talk about the weather! The weather here is being crazy. The rain has been on and off and on and off and on and off right now. I really don’t know when it will eventually stop since I don’t watch TV Patrol World anymore. Lol. It’s really unexpected. One hour the rain will stop, then after two-three hours it’ll start again. It’s kind of annoying, actually. Everywhere you go, you need to have an umbrella or a jacket just for you to be protected from the rain. Lol. Crazy, right?

            Right now, I’m supposed to be studying for our Anatomy long test which is tomorrow. I’ve highlighted eleven pages—two columns—earlier, but I didn’t study it. I think I want to be absent tomorrow not because I don’t want to take the long test, but because I just want to sleep all day. I did my NCAE earlier this morning and I didn’t finish it. Perfect timing for my dysmenorrhoea to come, huh? It stopped me from answering my exam—literally. At least I finish the other subjects. I think, more or less, fifty items were left not shaded on my exam sheet. Sigh. Stupid dysme. Well, the teacher doesn’t have anything to do but to send me to the clinic because of my very pale lips. It was almost turning blue. I felt cold when I have my dysme. I was also shivering. I don’t know. My ob-gyne said that I have a lot of prostaglandins in me. I don’t even know what that means. Lol.

            Other than those stuffs, I am watching House season six now. It’s really funny. But then, they almost seem to talk about sex or each of their sex lives whenever they are not preoccupied with a case. It’s very green. Lol. My mother doesn’t really care. She loves watching House. She’s the one who bought the whole set of season three and six the first time! She’s the one who influenced me to be addicted on watching House. Rofl. Now, I love watching House. It’s not all about the green stuffs that I get from their show; actually, it’s about the science/medicine stuffs that got me into this—also, their sense of humour. I tell you, there’s a lot of stuff that I do not know about the human body—and also the diseases that you will get from different kinds of symptoms. It’s really interesting, the human body. My mother wants me to be a doctor. I don’t want to be a doctor—not at all, no. It’s too risky. I’d rather be a physical therapist than a doctor. I know doctors are more respected, but hey! I’m not interested. That’s just it.

            Anyway, it’s late. I’m going to sleep. And I really think that I’m going to be absent. Or not. Good night. Thanks for listening/reading to my update! Take care!

xoxo,

The One Who Wrote This.

FML!

why the hell am i CONFUSED?!

why the hell am i ANNOYED

whenever i go to my Twitter account(s)??

why the hell am i ANGRY?!

'cause of WHAT?!

because of?!

URGH!

i'm really SICK and TIRED with this stuff.

when am i getting outta it?!

when i'm already GONE?!

this only makes me think that i don't have any friends AT ALL.

why am i PESSIMISTIC all of a sudden?!

why do i like to do what i don't want to do before.

i'm getting easily pissed by something that is really small!

is this what happens to you when you're already

SICK and TIRED with all the DRAMA

around you?!

is this what you REALLY GET?!

URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!

TRUEness!

EVERYBODY KNOWS,

BUT

N

O

B

O

D

Y

R

E

A

L

L

Y 

K

N

O

W

S

.

~a lesson i learned...from GOD :)

~GOD makes our hearts for joy
~and will not let us lose treasures that truly matter.
~our joy comes from seeking HiM

this is the song that takes all my `emo-ness` away .. ;)

Nantoka Narusa by:

❤Masuda Takahisa❤

~and~

★Yamashita Tomohisa★

-and-

♫Koyama Keiichiro♫


;3 enjoy~! ;3